How To Master Your Emotions And Remove Repetitive Negative Thoughts - Ben Ivey 1. Take responsibility
Our emotions are our responsibility. You should never give power to other people allowing them to make you feel a certain way. Instead we need to take complete responsibility for our emotions and realise that if we are feeling a negative emotion, it is our fault and our responsibility to deal with. The power is in your hands!
2. Manage your emotional state
Our state is a combination of 3 things:
Physiology - which is our body language. The quickest way to change our emotional state is to move our body, stand up, do something different and it can help radically change how we are feeling.
Focus - where focus goes energy flows. When we are feeling negative, often our focus is on how we feel like a victim. We tend to focus on the past and things that are outside of our control. If our focus stays on these things then it will be difficult to change how we are feeling. Instead choose to focus on what is in our control, what you are grateful in life and on what you want to improve in the future.
Language – what we say to ourselves. What are the questions that you are asking yourself, what is your internal dialogue? By becoming aware of these factors we can start to shift our emotions in a very short period of time. Remember, if you ask better quality questions, you will get better quality answers.
3. Become aware of emotional triggers
When do you get most stressed? Emotional? Annoyed? If something frustrates you, then there is something unresolved in yourself. Take this as an opportunity to uncover your own triggers, question why you feel this way and then take it upon yourself to move away from the emotional state that you are currently in.
4. Interrupt the pattern
We can interrupt the pattern by changing any part of our state. However there are a few ways that are great to help almost immediately. A great tactic to use is to turn to your breath. When we are stressed we tend to have shallow breathing. By choosing to take deep breaths and relaxing it allows us to move back into balance.
5. Redefine your guidelines/rules/who you are
Some people that I work with believe that they are negative and that they are an angry person. If we believe this is part of us and never question it then its difficult to be something different. Instead I challenge you to write some guidelines for yourself. For example I choose to only be in a negative state for a maximum of 5 minutes, I choose be the master of my emotional well being and choosing to be grateful everyday. No one is born negative, they are learned behaviours, when we can disassociate from this it, allows us to really become the person we want to be.
6. Differentiate between you and your mind
The mind always looks for things that are wrong as it is built for survival. If you can distinguish between the mind and the real you, it will allow you to detach from the thoughts you are having and realise that they aren’t you. If they were you, then you could switch it off. Since we can’t switch off our brains consider it a piece of software that we have to manage as opposed to an autopilot program that you have to follow.
7. Become a master of meaning
When we experience negative emotions very often it is due to us giving an unconscious negative meaning to the situation that we are in. We must choose to become aware of what we give meaning in our life to help us move to a better emotional state and not trigger ourselves by perceiving something as worse than it actually is.
8. Build up your emotional tank
I like to help many of my clients build up their emotional tank. What I mean by this is choosing to have a routine that helps put you in the right emotional state so that nothing can affect you in a negative way. This puts us in a better mood, makes us feel happier and often leads to stress free days, as we don’t become triggered as easily. Choose to condition who you must become everyday and you will live a phenomenal life!
Remember knowledge is just potential power, use some of these points today for you and start to live an even more powerful life!
Do you want to live a truly fulfiled life? Join the community at
Get in contact with me on facebook:
Add me on snapchat: benivey
Want to learn more about living a fulfiled life?
0 Comments