Get Atomic Attraction (Kindle/Audiobook/Paperback): Ray had just finished playing tennis when he met Lorraine, relaxing with a gin and tonic in the clubhouse overlooking the courts. From day one, Ray and Lorraine were drawn to each other. Ray couldn’t stop thinking about Lorraine. She was funny, athletic, and sassy—she was everything he loved in a woman. When Ray thought about Lorraine, he could already see their future mapped out together: the big house, lots of kids, and fun-filled family vacations in the Caribbean.
Last week, Ray and Lorraine had spent the entire weekend hanging out, getting intimate, and watching their favorite TV show. It had been the perfect weekend, and Ray couldn’t wait to do it all over again the following week.
For her part, Lorraine enjoyed Ray’s company; however, she couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that Ray was way more into her than she was into him. This became all the more apparent when Ray told her how much he had enjoyed their weekend together, and that he couldn’t wait to see her again soon.
On Monday afternoon, Ray reached out with another love-infused message: “Hey, sweetheart. How’s your day?”
Lorraine cringed when she read the message. This was all happening too fast, she had only just met the guy and he was already telling her how much he missed her and was even calling her “sweetheart.” Lorraine grabbed her phone and told Ray she was busy for the next couple of weeks. Little did Ray know he would spend the next two years trying, without success, to get Lorraine to see him again.
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How much are you willing to invest in a woman? Are you willing to invest 100 percent of your emotions, 50 percent, 20 percent, or less than 10 percent? When you invest 100 percent of your emotions into a woman, you inadvertently lay the foundation for your own demise. The over-invested man is only too willing to open his heart and give his love away. He lets a woman know he’s there for her and is responsive to her needs and desires.
On the other hand, the man who chooses to hold back is more likely to win a woman over and inspire feelings of attraction. The man who holds back doesn’t invest too much too soon. Instead, he sets himself up as a challenge and becomes a man whose love is hard to acquire.
The wise man chooses to hold back his emotions in case the relationship goes south, and he discovers that he’s dating a woman who’s either unstable, incompatible, or unworthy of long-term emotional investment. By holding back on your emotions, you automatically become more attractive because you’re neither focused on the relationship or its outcome. You keep your options open and you’re reluctant to give away your freedom and independence because you value those things above all else. As research published in the European Journal of Personality points out, if a woman has to fight for a man’s love and attention, she’ll think more highly of him, value him more, and think about him more frequently.91 How do you make yourself more valuable? First, you must make your love a scarce resource—something that’s hard to acquire. This all starts by refusing to invest too much of your emotions into a woman too soon. Emotional investment in a relationship should be a slow, gradual process. The attractive man holds back and never gives his love away too easily.
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Chris Canwell
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